Prose and short stories
christopher godber  

For the love of all do what the fuck you want [Transgressive / philosophical prose]

classic-faceThis is a piece of writing I did earlier this year when I was a much more angry man, and it shows. Posting up for posterity and as an archive but I have modified many of my positions since writing this, still some interesting ideas and concepts explored, though it is loaded with a jet black nihilism throughout and a great deal of sexisim, which I now reject as a thinking individual. It was always meant to be partly satirical, and it should be read with that in mind. 

Don’t take it too seriously, it’s mostly a send up of Crowley’s philosophies of hedonism and selfishness, which I draw from in some ways, but also reject in others, and like I said I was a much more angry person when I wrote it.

Ok that’s probably enough of covering my arse, just read it – Chris G

For the love of all do what the fuck you want

On the weakness of gender biased philosophies, paradigms of separation and why we are all weird monofuckers floating in an abstract space which we’ll never truly understand and should not wish to (fully)

Do what thou wilt shall be the whole of the law – Aleister Crowley

Welcome to the Chaos-sphere (*)aleister-crowley-poet

Feminism, hmm anything that starts with an ‘ism’ in language I already have an inane distaste for, as soon as you sell your living soul to to any reality tunnel you become a living embodiment of that thing or thought pattern, so few human beings realise that all is chaos and that chaos is sublime in it’s own internal insanity and that it is the true and eternal nature of all things. You can change any second, any minute, each NOW can turn WOW in the blink of an eye, that should be beautiful, instead it is considered ‘hedonistic’ and self obsessed in the dull, languid quarters of the unenlightened (religious or orthodox ‘philosophy’ systems on the whole) to wish to follow you own desires and impulses, and to also understand them at the deepest levels, to dig that deep, to plow those fields of the self, to cut under the skin of your spiritual being, your actual living flesh – to arrive at truth.

Nothing is true, everything is permitted – old chaos magick saying

The idea of a world formed of male or female values dominating as guiding principles is obscene and ridiculous , not just obscene but counterpoint to nature, nature does not discriminate and these opposing principles male and female , black and white, all dualities are constantly in opposition, what so few of the dimmer humanoid creatures of the world today realise is that violence and revolutions and cycles are the nature of all things in the universe and nature, and that it is difference and tension between opposing opposites that creates dynamism, change and progress. Marx called this idea of newness emerging from discord, thesis and antithesis, and it is one of few ideas that I think that old red bearded German got right, one of the few concepts he pretty much nailed full whack on the smacker with a good Left (wing?) hook.

Now onto more personal matters, I should at some of this from a first person perspective after all – I am talking fundamentally about questions of human nature, and I am a human (though sometimes I wish it was not so, looking at some of the lesser excuses for human beings, or mere often in the contemporary world clones of a short ADD popular culture who dilly dally about everywhere thinking they are free, dutifully as ghosts or cogs in an enormous cold, unfeeling machine).

I know within the deepest stirrings in my being that I have enormous wells of compassion inside me, but I also on the flipside I cannot not deny the truly horrendous things I and every human being is capable of if I when pushed to extremes. I am a potential murderer as much as a saint, a potential rapist as much as a protector or guardian. I say ‘I am’ in the abstract, since I have never murdered, never raped, never done so much that would be considered truly debased or evil , but I am aware that those desires exist in me, even if in barely quantifiable doses and as such are forces that could be exploded into the world where mere circumstances arranged in the right chaotic manner, on a bad day, possibilities that could emerge were stars to align wrongly on one cursed night.

Awareness of your inner bastard, means you can tell him to fuck off!

Being aware of your own evil, and your own demonic side is the only way beyond it, and to also transcend your own dark side. The more you repress a thing, the more power it holds, as any pathetic boy fiddling Catholic Priest can attest.

Now onto some cheerful analysis of Feminist claptrap, nonsense and Bullshit (and then Men’s claptrap, nonsense and Bullshit afterwards)

Im the year 2055, 2055…

It’s about to be another glorious new year in our faultless Female First Republic

Long live the Mother, the Sister, the Daughter

Long live the Sisterhood

– Radio Announcement 2089 AD


2090 AD: Females have finally smashed Patriarchy, but nothing really changes – we are now just ruled over by Cunts instead of Dicks…

Which brings me to feminism, feminism first because it is the most alien to me in both the abstract and the concrete, the most primed for destruction as a framework due to it’s increasing popularity, and also one of the easiest contemporary paradigms to destroy by virtue of it’s own degrading relevance to anything resembling reality.

But before I destroy an idea, I should explain why it must be destroyed, give my justifications and the give a no-nonsense, no bullshit answer for I think what could replace it.

Feminism comes in many forms, the most popular of which, at least on the Internet is that which focuses on the patriarchy as a symbolic symbol of oppression.

It is a popular feminist notion that centers around the concept that women are oppressed from achieving their full potential because men acting as agents of ‘The Patriarchy’ are keeping their full potential suppressed through media, through institutions, power structures, basically through all of the dominant power structures of our society at present, and in fact since time immemorial. All men have been oppressing women, and by not directly, implicitly rejecting their vision of what Patriarchy is, Men are supporting it’s continued existence.

I said symbolic symbol of oppression a few paragraphs back because that is what it is, it’s an easy get out clause of a philosophical framework that has been dreamed up by desperate females and sociology majors looking for a pillar to which to project all their own failures onto the external image of the male,

You just cannot argue with one of these women (or men) about the existence of their framework, you cannot questions their basic assumptions, and just just like any good communist,fascist, pro-market capitalist, Thatcherite or otherwise brainwashed Ideologue, because they have a pre-programmed answer for everything – as all brainwashed beings do. That is the nature of programmed realities and ideology in general. All is in flux constantly, energy, thought. Matter. Desire etc

Genuine Good points and “Ok let you off then” bits of Feminism

Sex impulse from the personal point of view

The problem with all these gender based philosophies is that they forget that human sexuality and nature itself is more complex than they can account for. I like to envisage reality as a fractal – as soon as you understand one part of it , it will confuse and confound you with some other contradictory information. Indeed I believe as I have already stated that all nature is mysterious and chaotic, and we will probably never get it all or understand it all. It is noble to aspire to more, but really who wants to be God?? Far too much responsibility for a concious being to take.

But I digress – onto the sex impulse (from a personal point of view)

I can only understand desire and sexual desire personally through my personal sexual preferences and desires, which in most ways mirror that of nature in that they are chaotic, free, complex, fractal like, diverse and sometimes contradictory. I believe this is so for most people on Earth, but often people just don’t articulate it.

All my sexual fantasies revolve around hierarchies of control – dominance , submission etc. It is my belief that all sex can be deduced down to these factors – the sensual and tactile, the transgressive and the factors of control and submission, or hierarchies of control and bartering. This is just speaking plainly to be honest, and if you hide or deny that, well done you’re basically just a 21st century version of a sexless, repressed Nun or Priest and likewise you will live a sad cloistered existence, denying yourself the desires which are your birthright, by virtue of your genitals and body and your flesh.

Ask yourself this, if God meant you not to use your prick or your cunt, why did he design you one?

(Not that he/she/it exists , but for the sake of argument and for my own personal joy of causing offence there you go…)


The God Emperor – Art from Warhammer 40k Manual


AKA The many and varied ways the human race may fuck up the Future

Extreme Female Based Society visions and why they are wrong:

Extreme Feminist society

The Male creature and sex instinct has been wiped from the face of the planet and all females procreate via a historic genetic sperm database of notable figures in history hooked into the planet itself, female genetic engineers manipulating the genes to force the sex to be female – this works for a few hundred years, until inbreeding inherent in using the same genes again and again creates weakness in the genetic chain, and the world becomes a genetic wasteland and literal wasteland, then the sun dies, and anyone that remains is burnt in the flames. Sounds great… Go the Sisterhood!

Posthuman Female Society

A Transhumanist female borg society where reproductions occurs via cloning so you end up fucking your sister without even realising it. Urgggh, am I right?

Also as the society is over reliant on technology to achieve reproduction it runs the risk of invariably dying out within a short amount of time when a natural disaster occurs that breaks the overeliance on said technology. Could be successful if they can adapt their bodies to deal with extreme environments like space and extreme weather systems however, so there might be some faint hope that they can escape the sun death. Which would be a start.


Extreme Male Based Society Visions and why they are wrong

Extreme Male only societies

A very bad man

Man’s worst instincts kick in after some war started by some guy, and we decide to wipe out woman as they are considered weaker and more inefficient at that killing each other bit which we are so fond of. Men then reproduce though the system of tribal competitions broadcast in ‘The Arena’ a VR fighting game. Weak specimens are disposed of naturally in the Arena though the acts of competitive violent behaviour, while the strongest get to mix their genes in the lab with ‘The King’. This again leads to breeding in weakness, as the intellectual elite who created the gene systems are all killed in the Arena, so again you have a self defeating extremist paradigm. Oh and we die when the sun dies, cos the males are too busy honing their muscles to think of anything constructive vis a ve escaping the Sun Death and the aforementioned killing of the intellectuals which has left all men as preening, body obsessed metrosexuals.

Sounds fun doesn’t it?

New Dark Ages

Inquisitions / Denial of sex instinct cult spreads

The sex instinct is denied by the male ruling class and any variance from the prevailing class is met with the inquisition – the priesthoods of various religious creeds. Christ, Mohammed etc become the only male figures that the priesthood or nunnery can aspire to – a non-physical relationship, we devolve into mindless, sexless beings, complete devoid of independent thought until the sun dies and we all burn screaming in it’s flames. Not the best one eh? But at least we’ll all be in Heaven™

Banner art from Ex Machina

Outside the Box visions and why they are probably wrong but could work, a bit

Free-market Pervert Capitalism Sex Societies

Sex and porn are used instead of monetary systems as exchange currency. Wall Street is renamed ‘Fucking against the Wall Street’ and they only deal with the orgy’s at the top elite of society, and complicated Gang Bangs.

Goods are only created and exchanged to increase sensory pleasure, and everyone lives in communal sex hives.

Sex is exchanged via the internet to pay for everything, so if you walk in the newsagents and you want those eggs, you have drop your trousers or skirt and have a webcam wank!

We don’t escape the death of the sun, because we are too busy wanking off and having sex to notice or care, until we die screaming of course in burning heat.

On the plus side we will of got a lot of pussy, penis , arse or whatever orifice is your orifice of choice though, but we’ll also all be dead. Swings and roundabouts right? Or is that Swingers and roundabouts? Am I right? Why aren’t you laughing?

Androgynous mainframe

We crack that whole mind / body interfacing with machines problem and upload ourselves into a a hyper-dimensional machine mainframe as androgynous beings of pure information. We then proceed to possess people and influence others worlds in the multiverse, a bit like the Timelords in Doctor Who. We can shift bodies and forms through technology, gender is irrelevant – as we are all are hedonistic Borgs of the post-millennial. Again this one is probably over reliant on technology as a basis but at least we might escape the flames of the sun, possibly…

Genetically engineered Seahorse / Post-Human society

We become hermaphrodites through genetic engineering and reproduce asexually. This would work I guess for a while and does get rid of the need for binary genders, which would settle that whole men are from Mars women are from Venus thing that people always bang on about. This version would probably evolve / devolve down any of the aforementioned routes eventually, but it’s good to have open options at the least.

We might even make it so we can swim in space maybe as we will be strange genetically engineered tranny beings so might just escape the flames of a dying sun. Then we’ll go to another planet or something and repeat cycle ad infinitum until the Big Bang™ 2.0, so yeah could work, maybe…


Spirituality as a concept is one that has existed since the dawn of time and as such it does have some relevance to the human experience. We have always gathered round flaming fires, found solace in songs and painted our innermost desires on cave walls.

Spirit and Spirituality however are quite a world apart from most religions in my view, please let me explain;

Spirit is an abstract, a feeling that grabs you suddenly, a jolt – what the ancients would call God, but we should be more accurate in calling experience of divine selfhood (I.e totality of your human journey). Ego death in some ways – an experience of unity, but also a death, a veil lifting into something more than just ‘yourself’.

Terrence McKenna

Religion warps this essential part of human nature, it says obey our laws, abide our doctrine and you will acquire the divine, sets up a barrier between ourselves and that sublime divinity within – and it is within, not beyond as so many Priests, Ayatollahs and Rabbi’s might have us believe.

The anthropologist and Psychedelic Journeyman Terrence Mckenna spoke of a return to an archaic revelry and revival of the sense / spirit experience of the ancient shamanistic cultures, a return to the authentic experience of the body and the mind. I too believe this is what is required, experiment, find your limits, explore your desires, take drugs, have weird sexual experiences, dance wildly around a fire telling stories so bizarre they make your friends doubt your sanity.

That’s the only way we can move forward culturally, to embrace the positive aspects of a sublime madness, and synthesise them into sanity, to make the insane and transgressive as ordinary as taking the dog for a walk on a Sunday morning.

Returning back to gender based paradigms, all these philosophies are I feel just increasing ways to divide ourselves mentally into smaller and smaller boxes, we must become the fucking ‘I AM’ on a constant basis, make our very living act a constant orgasm aimed at achieving oneness with the Godhead – to become the eternal orgasm is the only thing worth aspiring to now, I say Hedonism = good, asceticism= bad. We are all only granted limited time, a mere tiny snapshot of existence on this planet before we spiral of off the giant atom and dissolve back into the universe from whence we came.

So ignore all those who seek to limit your pleasure, limit your experimentations, limit your infinite will and desires and place terrible shackles round your soul.


Answers for the separated;

Say to the King – Your experience is limited, and for that you are not whole

Say to the Queen – Your experience is limited, and for that you are not whole

Say to the Priest – Your experience is limited, and for that you are not whole

The Male – Your experience is limited, and for that you are not whole

The Female – Your experience is limited, and for that you are not whole

The Dick-tator – Your experience is limited, and for that you are not whole

The Fool – Your experience is fuller, And you are closer to wholeness, if not there already

The Trickster – You’re there bud (We think)

Become a bit of everything, take a bit all the information about everything in and ride with your minds most fevered dreams, you might just end up in Paradise… But can you take that much freedom?

That’s the question

The answer is up to you,

Is that a deal


1 Comment

  1. Mike Fuller

    Hi Chris!

    I think you may really like J Bronowski’s Essay and Play, ‘The Face of Violence’.

    I think your writing here is thoroughly enjoyable and refreshing, by the way!

    I may see if I can send you a copy of ‘The Face of Violence’ from Amazon, paid by me, as a friend for yourself being such a good friend to me.

    With Best Wishes!

    I didn’t realise how intellectual you are!

    Cheers – Mike.

    1 October, 2017 2:13 AM

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